An Excerpt from the upcoming Chesty McBookerton novel, Seduction in the Stacks: Tales of a Bacardi Librarian

by Geraldine Bouvier

Chesty delicately slipped the latest bound collection of the Horn Book Guide back onto the shelf between its compatriots. As she reached up to adjust the plain beige bookends to firmly tighten the shelf's tomes, the top button on her self-knitted sweater burst from her chest, her ample cleavage surging forth like water threatening to topple a dam. The button, in its aerial bid for freedom, hurtled through the empty space amidst the shelves, into the adjacent aisle, before coming to a sudden stop.

"Ow!" came a voice. Shortly thereafter, a ruggedly handsome face poked around the corner. "Yours, I presume?" asked the gentleman to which the face came attached, holding the button gently between his thumb and forefinger. He seemed to be winking at her, but Chesty soon realized the button had fired from her breasts straight into his eye.

"Sorry," she replied nervously, taking the button from him. Their fingers met; his felt coarse, the fingers of a man whose livelihood came from his hands.

"No problem," he assured her. "After all, it gave me an excuse to talk to you." At that remark, his face turned slightly sheepish.

She gazed into his eyes, the deep and penetrating eyes of a longshoreman, or perhaps a cattle farmer of some kind. "I'd wondered what you were doing amidst the library journals," she said. "Could I--?" She paused, swallowing, nervous. "Could I help you find something?"

His eyes faltered, his line of sight dipping toward her bust. "I think I've found it," he told her, taking her waist into his strong, rough hands, and lowering his perfectly-stubbled face toward her smooth and waiting one.

Great Googly Moogly

Saving the World from Google:

Already, Google has digitized 12 million books, quietly assembling what it describes as a 21st-century version of Alexandria's ancient library. Google views the project as a classic example of how a company can do well by doing good, opening up a new market for itself while giving users instant access to just about any book that's ever been published. But Microsoft, along with Yahoo and Amazon, hardly relishes the prospect of seeing Google dominate the emerging digital book market, much less fortify its control over searches. Together with writers' groups, libraries, and research institutions, these companies have formed the Open Book Alliance, which aims to open Google's private book-scanning enterprise to competition and public scrutiny.

How much does it cost?

Literary devices with Tyler

Tyler: You lie like a rug.
Matt: Hahaha.
Tyler: Was that a pun?
Matt: What?
Tyler: What I just said. Was that a pun?
Matt: That would be a pun, yes.
Tyler: Awesome. That's awesome. I'm excited.

Decision Making

(According to Dr. Maccaferri, with minor tweaking)

While the following list is accurate when applying to developing library collections, it also applies to the various evaluation techniques that can be applied rather adequately to men.

1. Does the item of interest fall with the scope of what has already been established and decided?

2. If yes, is it of interest to users and do users find it interesting?

3. If yes, consider what the library has already shelved in terms of age and
format, including size.

4. If the item is still viable, consider the cost vs. benefit/value and overall benefit to the user.

5. Consider any special handling issues.

6. What is the source and location of the information you are considering (review.
flyer, friend, etc? [bar?])

7. Will acquiring the item pose problems (mutilation, theft, challenges, overall quality of the libraries well being)?

When making any decision, it's always necessary to take into consideration the users needs by doing a complete assessment of usage patterns and users satisfaction, as well as considering user demand for various services. Remember, "it's not like you have to fit scores of books on the shelf, it's easier to acquire one item at a time."

=)

650 #0 Beer $x Social aspects.

Copyright 2010 Bill Reed and Jay Stewart, or something. I'll find you.

Word of the day

ubiquitous [yü-ˈbi-kwə-təs]:
adj.

1. existing or being everywhere at the same time
2. constantly encountered
3. abstractly abundant
4. "The Media"
5. Brett Favre